Douglas      "Dad"
by Zoe Cleal (nee Vellender) 		  
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Douglas Vellender was born on 22nd December 1932, the second son of Christopher and Margaret of Wood Stanway, Gloucestershire. Leslie, the eldest son was to spend frequent and longer holidays with his childless maternal aunt who lived in nearby Toddington, during the arrival of two more brothers and three sisters, Anthony (Tony), Brian, Marian, Eileen, and Janet, until she adopted him as a teenager. Douglas therefore effectively became the eldest in the family of children and together with Tony, helped his mother considerably in the care of the younger ones.

Home for the family was a one up and one down cottage (the boys slept top to bottom, in a bed on the landing) on the Stanway Estate owned by the Charteris family where their father, known as ‘Joyful’ worked as cowman and cider maker. It was a tight-knit community and Douglas remembers that neighbours’ doors were always open and children used to wander in and out of neighbouring houses at will. As the boys grew older, they spent most of their free time in the surrounding woods and playing around Cromwell’s Clump, from where it is said that Thomas Cromwell watched as Hailes’ Abbey was dismantled on the orders of Henry VIII. Douglas earned the nickname of ‘Piggy’ due to his habit of feeding choice titbits to the pig, including coal and once, a precious orange, which was given to him as a great treat. School was at Didbrook where the able Mrs Holdsworth taught all ages all subjects. If ever I confessed to not knowing some bit of general knowledge, Dad would say, ‘Didn’t you know that? Mrs Holdsworth taught us that years ago’, leading me to the conclusion that Mrs. Holdsworth must indeed have been very knowledgeable and that Dad must have absorbed every word she said. ......................................................................................................................... .............................................................................                                                 

 

 





The Cottage at Stanway
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.The family moved to Didbrook when Douglas was about 12 years old. He felt a special bond between his sister Marian and himself, having had to assist at her birth. Janet, the youngest refused to be left at home and would race after the boys as soon as she could walk. As the boys raced away to the woods with Janet chasing after them, their mother’s voice would call after them, ‘Look after that babby!’. Janet believed that Douglas was her dad as he was the one who looked after her and made things for her; Joyful was just ‘our old chap’. When the boys had finished their chores on the allotment, they joined in the village cricket and football teams. Douglas later acknowledged that it was an advantage to have a father who did not do anything for them, because they were forced to learn to do it for themselves; if they wanted a go-cart, they would have to make one. He later put this advantage to good use in the building trade.

Doug with his father.
Doug & Les
On National Service
Tony Brian & Douglas

                     Doug as aBoy

           Doug's Grandfather - Richard


Doug left school a few days before his 14th birthday to start work for Phil Grimmett, the local builder. He told me of one occasion when he was at the bottom of the ladder while an elderly work mate climbed it. He saw something falling and instinctively caught it. His work mate was everlastingly grateful that Doug had caught his set of false teeth! Doug’s wages went to help support the family, apart from 2/6d which was returned to him and which he used to pay the hire purchase on the bike he needed to get to work. When he finished paying the h.p. Tony had the bike! Tony paid him back in full later, though, because Doug never learned to drive, so Tony used to ferry him about the countryside on the back of his motorbike. There was only fifteen months between them and they did everything together.

Like many others, Doug received his call up papers soon after his eighteenth birthday and was conscripted to The Gloucestershire Regiment on 1 March 1951. As he travelled by train to Plymouth for his six weeks basic training on Dartmoor, he felt as though he were going to the ends of the earth, hardly having travelled further than Cheltenham before. He was on embarkation leave and due to be sent to join the peacekeeping force in Korea when news came through that the Gloucesters had been decimated in the Battle of Imjim River in April 1951. As a conscript, he was then drafted to the 1st Bn. Devonshire Rgt, and sent to Tobruk, Libya, with the United Nations Forces. (Most of his pay was sent home to help support the family, as was Tony’s too.) He told me that they had to swim the width of Tobruk harbour in full combat gear in order to receive a small extra amount in their pay, (I cannot remember now whether it was 5/- or 2/6d). One lad who could not swim asked Doug and one other if they would tow him between them in order that he might also receive the extra allowance. They got him there and he got his allowance. He also recalled he was on guard duty one night when he suddenly heard the sound of slow heavy footsteps plodding towards him. Sweating with fright, because he could not see anyone he shouted, ‘Who goes there? Friend or foe?’ No reply; and still he could not see anyone, but the footsteps kept coming. ‘Who goes there? Friend or foe? Then he could see that it was an enormous bullfrog making its way towards him. What a relief! Another chap shot a donkey on a similar occasion.


                 After National Service


                    With Son Chris

Returning from Tobruk the Royal Devons arrived back in England to deal with the clean up operation following the Lynmouth flood disaster of August 1952. He also worked on sandbagging against the East Anglia floods when doing the final days of his national service, Doug said that he'd never been so cold as he was in the wind that came from across the North Sea and over the featureless fens. Also, the contrast in the weather was so extreme to that of Libya where he had been just months before.

He was discharged from full-time service on 27 February 1953. The testimonial on his discharge papers said: ‘Vellender is a quiet man with a pleasant sense of humour. He is a good worker and is reliable and trustworthy. He is smart in appearance. He can work well without supervision.’
Following the end of his National Service, Doug returned to his family in Didbrook and to Phil Grimmett the builder. He met Rosemary Thomas when she was working on a nearby farm and lodging in Toddington. They married at Eastbury church on Douglas’ 24th birthday and moved to Vicarage Cottages in East Garston which was sub-let by Mrs Hall who rented it from the vicar, until the council house became available. By this time the twins had arrived so it was a relief to have a house with running water and an inside loo.
Douglas started work for Roy Denton’s building firm in East Garston, a couple of months prior to the wedding, whilst he was lodging with the Cottrells at The Plough. He worked with village men and locals such as Ern Dennis; Sam and Keith Aldridge; Bob Powell; Tony, George and Mick Hawkins; Bill Hobbs, Ray and Eric Hobbs; Nobby Rolf; Cyril Taylor, Rex Vellender; Frank Willgress; and Norman Wise. (Maybe Eric or Ray could give a more comprehensive list). He entered fully into life in the village, playing football, collecting the waste paper with Ray and Eric, and even entered the round the village race on several occasions.

He used to ring with the old team, some of whom I remember: Mr Ted Baker, Mr John Russ, Mr Bob Powell (Possibly Mr Ted Wooldridge). We used to go up and watch, not dreaming that we would one day form the new team; bellringing being very much for men only (and old men too, apart from Douglas who was required to make up the numbers). Douglas also mowed the churchyard grass for 20 years, going up first to give Bob Powell a hand who had done it alone for some considerable time and was beginning to find it a struggle.

When Roy Denton died and his building firm was wound up, Doug went to work for George and Bob Baker of Lambourn. They had previously been his neighbours along with their parents Mr and Mrs Ted Baker and sisters Anne and Gillian.

Zoë Cleal (nee Vellender)
5:11:2006
DOUGLAS VELLENDER 
1932 - 2006